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| Here Be Ambien Dragons |
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Subject takes Ambien and tries to make...
...split pea soup and...
...open faced peanut butter and honey sandwich without using a plate or other surface to place bread on. Subject is successful, however is now covered in honey and peanut butter.
...pretends all the utensils are soldiers and Subject is their leader. The utensils brag about who will be the most help to make the soup, and each have their own personality. The ladle is honored to serve the soup as a finished product, and we hold a graduation ceremony and the utensils move on to their next destination in life, the dishwasher.
...manages to cover the entire kitchen and body in pea mush...spaghetti, yet somehow manages to get 1/4th the jar of tomato sauce on new white shirt. Subjects shirt remains orange.
...open faced peanut butter and honey sandwich without using a plate or other surface to place bread on. Subject is successful, however is now covered in honey and peanut butter.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Free Hugs!!
Crazy shit happened last night.
Somebody told me my friends E (female) and W (male) had switched names, that E was now W and W was now E. So I would say things like "W, you have a nice ass!" and got everyone thoroughly confused about who was whom.
Two of my friends tried to leave, I hugged them for like 10 minutes and to be pried off so they could escape.
Then I turned into some sort of creature, I would sneak into my room mates room and put stuff in my pocket, then run around the apartment hiding the stuff, all while making chirping noises.
Eventually I got bored, so I ran into the kitchen, put my button down shirt in the freezer, and pretended like I had just arrived. Found the shirt in the freezer today.
Woke up and my entire pack of cigarettes was empty.
Somebody told me my friends E (female) and W (male) had switched names, that E was now W and W was now E. So I would say things like "W, you have a nice ass!" and got everyone thoroughly confused about who was whom.
Two of my friends tried to leave, I hugged them for like 10 minutes and to be pried off so they could escape.
Then I turned into some sort of creature, I would sneak into my room mates room and put stuff in my pocket, then run around the apartment hiding the stuff, all while making chirping noises.
Eventually I got bored, so I ran into the kitchen, put my button down shirt in the freezer, and pretended like I had just arrived. Found the shirt in the freezer today.
Woke up and my entire pack of cigarettes was empty.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
ambien idea
So I came up with some brilliant business plan on ambien, I had the sense to write it down so I could follow through with it later. Seems that real life has a different definition of "brilliant business plan".
Haha it really seemed like a brilliant plan at the time.
The idea is that I would start a site that sells cheap crap, the kinda stuff you buy for 2 cents and sell for a dollar or two. Then tell everyone that I am actually losing money, the profit is actually made by selling their information to the government. This would piss them off and they would try to put me out of business by buying my stuff but giving fake information so the government wouldn't give me money for it.
Haha it really seemed like a brilliant plan at the time.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
The Ambien Walrus Collection
Drew over at toothpaste for dinner has a hilarious reoccurring comic featuring the ambien walrus. I have collected them all for you here.
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| December 6, 2007 |
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| June 22, 2009 |
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| February 4, 2010 |
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| May 22, 2010 |
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| July 21, 2010 |
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| December 7, 2010 |
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| July 5, 2011 |
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