Thursday, December 16, 2010

Free Hugs!!

Crazy shit happened last night.

Somebody told me my friends E (female) and W (male) had switched names, that E was now W and W was now E.  So I would say things like "W, you have a nice ass!" and got everyone thoroughly confused about who was whom.

Two of my friends tried to leave, I hugged them for like 10 minutes and to be pried off so they could escape.

Then I turned into some sort of creature, I would sneak into my room mates room and put stuff in my pocket, then run around the apartment hiding the stuff, all while making chirping noises.

Eventually I got bored, so I ran into the kitchen, put my button down shirt in the freezer, and pretended like I had just arrived.  Found the shirt in the freezer today.

Woke up and my entire pack of cigarettes was empty.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

ambien idea

So I came up with some brilliant business plan on ambien, I had the sense to write it down so I could follow through with it later.  Seems that real life has a different definition of "brilliant business plan".

The idea is that I would start a site that sells cheap crap, the kinda stuff you buy for 2 cents and sell for a dollar or two.  Then tell everyone that I am actually losing money, the profit is actually made by selling their information to the government.  This would piss them off and they would try to put me out of business by buying my stuff but giving fake information so the government wouldn't give me money for it.

Haha it really seemed like a brilliant plan at the time.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The Ambien Walrus Collection

Drew over at toothpaste for dinner has a hilarious reoccurring comic featuring the ambien walrus.  I have collected them all for you here.
Kill You Parents - Ambien Walrus
December 6, 2007

Cut Off Your Hair - Ambien Walrus
June 22, 2009
Call Your Ex Girlfriends or Lose Your Car Keys - Ambien Walrus
February 4, 2010
An Adventure You Will Never Remember - Ambien Walrus
May 22, 2010
Eat All The Cookies and Go For a Drive - Ambien Walrus
July 21, 2010
Piss On Your Dog and Buy a Chandelier on eBay - Ambien Walrus
December 7, 2010
Break Your Sunglasses and Build a Time Machine - Ambien Walrus
July 5, 2011