Sneaky White Mochas are Getting Rid of an Anvil

Ambien Sister is on a Rampage

Chat log:

sister: online shopping on the bathroom floor at dark Brian just got me
sister: And now all I want to Sonia comnvwrse there's a window
me: Relax dude
sister: If you miss the sleepy window too become a crazed sleepwalking zombie with giggles
sister: Oh I am relaxed
me: Okay I will
sister: My breathing is tremendous
me: Oh?
sister: I am hypnotized

Sneaky White Mochas are Getting Rid of an Anvil

We have no more bananas today

A conversation with my sister while she's on Ambien

Chat log:

Sister: Well after giving this the much careful thought that it deserves, I seem to recall us having a conversation about it tomorrow. Does my memory stand correct?
Me:
Me:
Me: You remember something from tomorrow??

Ambitexting

Ambitexting is worse that intoxitexting because apparently I am trying to get all creative and shit. This is not to be advised. When typing with one eye open, stick to the basics.

If my best friend is made of cats, and the Internet is made of cats, that means the Internet is my best friend. That makes more sense than I’d like to admit.